How NOT to Ask for a Raise or Promotion

How NOT to Ask for a Raise or Promotion Many of us need to rethink the way we ask for promotions and raises, because when we do ask, often it aint pretty. Just listen to the answers I hear when I ask, Are there differences in the way men and women ask you for raises and promotions? I know youre busy, I know you dont have time Obama adviser Valerie Jarrett has been the boss in a variety of workplaces. When I ask whether she sees a difference in approach between men and women when asking for raises and promotions, she says, Amazingly, men are almost detached from it emotionally. Theyre really comfortable . . . Women are much more timid and appreciative and polite. Men are very matter of fact, businesslike, unemotional. It isnt really personal. Women are emotional? I ask. Emotional in the sense of apologetic . . . I remember one woman in particular who started with, I know youre busy, I know you dont have time . . . Basically saying, Dont give me the raise? She backed into it badly, is the way I would say it. Valerie tells me. Apologetic and tentative are two adjectives I heard over and over. The editor-in-chief of Newsweek and The Daily Beast, Tina Brown says women often start to apologize with their body language before they even open their mouth. Then theyll begin by saying, Well, you know, Ive been here for a while and Ive been thinking a lot about this . . . Men come in and they just say, Hey, Im not doing this anymore unless I get X. And you think, Of course, of course, of course, you know, you must take care of Joe, Fred, whomever. But women dont do that. They just come in and they look sad . . . And we cant do that! I didnt really want to come to you with this I ask Yahoo CEO Carol Bartz, Have you ever had a woman ask for a raise and apologize for imposing? Oh, absolutely, she says. Bartz trots out a few shes heard: I didnt really want to come to you with this, but, gosh, do you think my bonus percentage could be higher? And, Gee could you just think about it? When they say, I dont know if youll consider, right away they are giving you an out. Of course I wouldnt consider, you just told me not to consider . . . when somebody gives you the reason you can say no, it just makes your job easier. And men? Men will say I believe Im undervalued here,' Bartz tells me. And thats always code for Im going someplace where they value me, and its for these reasons.' When men ask for raises theres always some cost, ad exec Donny Deutsch says. Its always because I did this and if I dont get the raise . . . Theres always [an imaginary] gun to the head, some gamesmanship. First of all, women dont ask as much. And when they do ask, its not Give it to me or else.' When you combine my experience with what I heard from the bosses above, I have to say we women stink at this. Just look at our best opening lines: Im sorry. I know youre busy. I dont know if you have the time. I dont know if youll consider . . . I dont know if this is possible . . . I hate to do this. I dont know if theres room for this in the budget. Im sorry if the timing is bad. I think Ive managed to use everyone of those phrases in my attempts to get a raise. Of course, I used an additional strategy, too what More editor Lesley Jane Seymour calls playing the victim card. Seymour says women present their personal challenges, saying things like, Well, I have this situation or I have that burden or My mother is ill and I have to support her or whatever. Women present their cause, and you have to realize its not a managers job to support your causes, whatever they might be . . . The companies cant say, Oh, I feel sorry for you. Related: Show Me the Money! 4 Things to Remember about $$ and Your Job Search. Mika Bzezinski, author of Knowing Your Value: Women, Money, and Getting What Youre Worth, is a co-host of Morning Joe, an MSNBC anchor and author of All Things at Once. She is also co-host of The Joe Scarborough Show on Citadel Media. She is the mother of two daughters, Emilie and Carlie, and has been married for fifteen years to an investigative journalist at ABC. Image: Shutterstock

What I Wish I Knew as an Undergraduate - Personal Branding Blog - Stand Out In Your Career

What I Wish I Knew as an Undergraduate - Personal Branding Blog - Stand Out In Your Career 4 years ago I presented to a group of UCLA undergraduates about Entrepreneurship vs the Corporate World.  My goal was to show undergraduates how they can break the template lifestyle and say No to the corporate job that they believe they need to get. As an undergraduate, I too was brain-washed into believing that the corporate path was the only way to go. After the presentation, an  undergraduate  approached me and said the following: You know, the only reason you left the corporate world was because you werent an investment banker.  Theres no way you could have turned down the six-figure salary. Money as the end goal I was raised under the philosophy that money brought happiness. My closest friends from back home in Orange County also believe that wealth and money are the end goals. Its no wonder that as an undergraduate, my goal was to find the highest paying job possible. And I succeeded. Though I didnt have the six-figure investment banker salary, I had a very formidable salary as an undergrad and a sweet signing bonus as well. A workaholic culture I left the corporate world for the startup life for two main reasons: I wanted to work for myself It seemed to me that the startup life had a bigger payout a $50 million exit within 5 years sounded pretty sweet to me All of a sudden, I was thrust into the startup workaholic culture that praises those that work until 2am and neglect friends and family for the startup. I lived it. For a long while, I prioritized work over my loved ones. It seemed that all I did was work; I even missed the wedding of one of my good friends from back home in Southern California because I couldnt leave the Bay when my product was about to launch. Never-ending stress Theres never an end to the stress when you run an internet startup. Startups are a  roller coaster  ride, giving you more ups and downs than Goliath at Six Flags Magic Mountain. Ive failed and successfully sold multiple companies in the course of 5 years as an entrepreneur. Ive found that raising million in funding not only opens the doors to many possibilities, but it greatly complicates business as well and adds an even greater level of stress. After raising our $1 million angel round of funding, I had a large marketing budget that I used to sponsor conference and trade-shows. But along with these sponsorships comes the pressure and stress of having to close deals. Before funding, I still had to close deals, but I used cost-free methods to get clients. Now with angel funding, I was using very expensive methods to close deals, which added to the stress levels in the company. What I wish I had known as an undergraduate Time is the most valuable currency Time with friends; time with family; just time to reflect and relax. Time is my most valuable currency, which is why my new focus in entrepreneurship is to build a lifestyle business. Workaholics are not heroes Canceling date-night with your girlfriend for work does not make you a hero; finishing your work early to catch happy hour with your girlfriend does make you a hero. For the longest time I bragged to my fellow startup friends about how I worked 80+ hour weeks on my startup. Nowadays I make it a goal to work less than 40 hours per week. Every business decision that my team and I make now is a step forward to reducing hours worked and increasing value created. Set financial goals I used to save money for the sake of saving money. But now instead of  arbitrarily  saving money, I save money towards specific goals. My bank account is split into several accounts: home, car, wedding, travel, etc. As long as Im reaching my financial goals, I can spend my excess money however I want without feeling guilty. He who dies with the best memories wins As an  undergraduate, I thought the goal was to make as much money as possible, work as hard as possible, and then fully enjoy life during retirement. My new philosophy is to hit my financial goals as soon as possible, work as little as possible, and live a happy life now rather than later.  Its a simple change in mind-set that is so hard to realize as an undergraduate because everyone from teaches to peers is telling you differently. Author: Jun Loayza is the founder of Tour Woo, the easiest way to book a tour online.  In his startup career, Jun has sold 2 internet companies, raised over $1,000,000 in angel funding, and lead social campaigns for LG, Sephora, and Whole Foods Market.

Creative Business Ideas For The Strong Woman

Creative Business Ideas For The Strong Woman The women of the world often fulfill many different roles in life.   They are mothers, sisters, daughters, business women, homemakers, and so much more.   Women are strong.   They are extremely resilient, and they sure know how to hustle. For those who are currently seeking out new horizons, the internet provides a wide opened opportunity to start something new.   Take a moment to begin the journey to a new and independent workspace, and read through this brief summary of a few business ideas for the strong woman seeking out a more enriching professional existence. Social media consultant If Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook are a regular staple of life, then it would be very easy to market that knowledge.   Many startup businesses need help forming their presence across the social media airwaves. Offer consulting services for an appropriate fee, and assist new businesses in their future success.   Social media consultants can generate upwards of $50,000 per year with the opportunities. Freelance content writers There are hundreds of opportunities to make money writing online.   The internet is always in need of fresh and informative content.   If writing is a strong suite, freelance writing may be a feasible route to explore. Check into blogging for business websites, as well.   Like this current example, there is always a new website that is in need of excellent content. Sell crafts on Etsy Etsy provides a wide opened platform for women to sell their handmade arts and crafts.   For the ladies who enjoy getting their hands dirty, there is always a chance to cash in on their skills. Etsy is not the only platform or money-making option for independent craft makers.   There is always the option to build a unique sales platform and start up a small crafting business online.   All it would take is a quality product and a stellar web presence to generate a healthy income. Uber drivers work whenever they feel the urge That soccer mom minivan can be put to good use working for Uber.   It does not take much more than driving skills and patience to make a decent income on Uber. Depending on what a woman is willing to put into the business, Uber can make the family quite a bit of money in a very short amount of time.   It is worth the investment of time to at least apply for the position. Provide resume writing services Educated women often find that their time could be used more efficiently.   What better way to invest time and effort into making the world better for women than to assist them in building a stellar resume.   It is vital that women properly represent their professional value on paper.

Six Signs Youre In A Toxic Relationship

Six Signs Youre In A Toxic Relationship Relationships are hardâ€"oftentimes, the challenges you go through can bring you closer together. However, not all relationship stress is good, and it can negatively impact other aspects of your life, like your health or career. As a woman, you’re naturally in tune with yourself, and it’s important to examine your relationship to make sure it’s healthy. If you suspect that youre in a toxic relationship, here are some signs that can potentially confirm it. Your significant other blames you for everything that goes wrong. The toxic person in a relationship won’t take responsibility for his actions. He’ll look for any excuse to blame something on you, even if it’s clearly not your fault. It might be nobody’s fault, but you’ll still get the brunt of his wrath. This is damaging in its own right, but you know it’s gone too far when you actually start to believe it’s true. Over time, a person’s constant abrasive nature can seep into your psyche, and you start to convince yourself that their negative words are true. It tears down your self-esteem and makes it hard to love yourself. You start to adopt some of your partner’s negative behaviors. Relationships should involve pressure to be the best person you can be, but often, a toxic partner will encourage you to engage in negative behaviors you wouldn’t normally do. While you don’t want to adopt any bad habits, substance abuse is a common product of toxic relationships with terrible consequences. “Multiple studies have examined why men and women do drugs and have found that abuse often occurs for wildly different reasons,” explains an article from a women’s treatment and recovery center. “Many men are merely curious about substances or have a risk-taking personality that compels them to try them out. While many women use drugs for the same reason, many more do drugs as a self-medication method or as a way of connecting with their partner.” You’re never allowed to spend time alone with friends. This is classic abusive behavior. The abuser doesn’t want to relinquish even a moment of control, so if you say you want to hang out with your girlfriends, he’ll make an excuse to go with you or be in the room while you’re spending time with them. Generally, this is a sign of his own insecurity. He’s afraid that you might say something about him or that your friends will convince you to get out of the relationship. Regardless, it’s not healthy. You’re accused of cheating if you talk to anyone of the opposite sex. Although any two people in a healthy relationship will be careful to avoid flirtations when interacting with the opposite sex, you will obviously interact with the opposite sex on a daily basis, whether at work or in another public setting. Your controlling partner will blow these micro-interactions out of proportion, accusing you of cheating for saying a friendly word to a man passing on the street or helping a male coworker at work. He might also go through your phone and make a big deal out of every text you’ve shared with another man, even if it’s completely innocent. You start to sense passive-aggressive behavior. Passive-aggressive behavior comes in many different forms, including him giving you the silent treatment when you try to ask what’s wrong. He might also make you feel stupid for trying to bring it up. A common form of passive aggressive behavior is making mean jokes about you. He’ll make a belittling comment and then say, “just kidding,” as if that excuses it. It’s a tactic to make victims look stupid or dramatic, dismissing any complaint you might have had. “A good joke will make you feel included; a toxic joke will make you feel small, angry, and powerless,” says Melanie Curtin, a female rights activist and contributor for Inc.com. You’re constantly feeling exhausted when your significant other is around. When was the last time you actually enjoyed spending time with your partner rather than feeling like you were walking on eggshells? To avoid a fight, you must predict his behavior or mood changes every day for months or even years. This tiptoeing around is frankly exhausting. Healthy relationships typically exhibit the opposite feeling. When you’re together, you can finally relax and enjoy yourself rather than watching everything you say. It’s the one place where you should be able to feel safe and unjudged, but a toxic partner makes this impossible. Leaving a Toxic Relationship If you identify with any of these telltale signs, the first step is admitting the problem. The next is to seek a support group who will help you step away and not look back. You might ask friends and family or seek the help of a professional to repair any damage your partner did. If you feel threatened at all, it’s important to tell the authorities so they can provide protection. It can be scary but walking away from a negative relationship may be the best thing you ever do for your health and happiness. . Main image credit.

5 Ways to Make Your Office Environment Fun and Enjoyable - CareerMetis.com

5 Ways to Make Your Office Environment Fun and Enjoyable A dull workplace can contribute to the stress that your employees have to battle with on a daily basis. Pale white walls, insufficient lighting, and the monotonous sounds of your printers and computers blipping can paint a depressing picture. And while it doesn’t sound like a serious issue, it actually is.A boring and depressing workplace can lead to low productivity and a high attrition rate as employees jump ship. This also means you spend more money for rehiring and retraining candidates.evalTo ensure a productive and satisfied workforce, here are 5 ways to transform your office into an enjoyable work environment:1. Decorate Your OfficeClear white walls give your office a clean look, but it also fails to mentally stimulate your workforce. Just because it is a place of work, doesn’t mean it should be soulless and all business.Decorate your office with elements that reflect not only the company’s culture, but also the people who work in the backdrop. Vibrant colors, such as or ange and yellow, are good for your walls and ceilings. Fill the corner spaces with some art decors or self-cleaning fish tanks or plants.The floor carpets could be designed with abstract shapes or universe-themed patterns. Regardless, avoid the aesthetic dullness of common office spaces.2. Encourage Your Employees to ExerciseGroup exercises in the mornings and afternoons offer various benefits for a workforce. For starters, it wakes people up mentally and removes the brain fogthat oftentimes affects their productivity and ability to solve problems on the spot.You don’t need any special equipment to start group exercises in the workplace. While jumping jacks and jogging aren’t exactly indoor-friendly activities, you can start yoga and meditation sessions for those who want to take a break and relax their mind from the burdens of daily workloads.Take note that it doesn’t need to be an exercise. Anything that requires you to physically move, such as a dance party, should be a wel comed activity.3. Keep the Snack Room StockedevalPeople get cranky when they’re hungry. While this isn’t a universal truth, it’s common enough to merit attention.Stocking your snack roomwith chips, coffee, condiments, and utensils is far cheaper than losing your valued employees. The snacks can also create a central point for conversation between employees. And because there are snacks in the office, people don’t have to rush outside to grab a bite whenever they feel hungry.This added convenience will definitely contribute to your employee’s overall satisfaction level.4. Start Fun and Friendly CompetitionsWhether it’s playing team versus team video gamesor some classic picnic games, competition can shake things up and add something new and fun to the work week.evalIn addition, friendly competitions can encourage team-building and rapport, which ultimately leads to a better functioning workforce. Add rewards to your competitions to up the stakes and encourage a greater de gree of participation.Aside from games, you can also turn your projects into a fun activity by offering rewards to individuals or teams who achieve quotas first or can produce the best output.5. Offer AmenitiesA day tour at any one of the largest tech companies in the world, from Google to Amazon, will amaze you at how pampered employees are.From free food and changing menus at cafeterias to indoor gyms, spas, and game rooms, the amenities at these places are endless. Of course, the issue here is budget. Not every company can allocate the capital to build these amenities from the ground up.You can start off small, such as by adding a TV and a game console in an unused space within the office or by putting up a Lego station where employees can vent off stress by playing with Legos.Final ThoughtsMaking your office fun and enjoyable doesn’t have to cost you a lot of money, nor should it be a stressful process.Involve your employees and get their ideas and feedback on how the space yo u all share can be more enjoyable.

Who Are You Targeting In Your Job Search

Who Are You Targeting In Your Job Search Whether you are networking, completing a job application, writing a cover letter, or interviewing; you will need to take your audience into consideration. What are their needs or concerns? What can you do to make their lives easier or make it easier to help you? In order to answer these questions, you need to identify your audience. Tim Tyrell-Smiths post on Tims Strategy identifies the audiences for you. And he takes it one step further to help you understand what they may be looking for or what motivates them and why they are of value to you. Recruiters Fellow Unemployed The Employed The Folks in HR The Hiring Manager Each of these people have a different perspective and that is why you need to customize your written and verbal communication to fit the audience. One size does not fit all. Dont assume you know, find out what motivates them. In sales, they call the un-customized pitch, spraying and praying. Throwing out every feature of the product or service without finding out the potential customers needs is the mistake every new salesperson makes. They learn over time how to ask potential customers probing questions to identify need so that they can customize their responses. It becomes exploratory, not slamming information down someones throat. New job seekers frequently make this mistake as well. They are in such a hurry to get to their next job, they forget to find out what their target audience wants.

Writing a Resume - How It Has Changed From the Past

Writing a Resume - How It Has Changed From the PastWriting a resume is no longer considered as an unnecessary step. In fact, today, more employers are seeking skilled workers with the required experience in a particular field of work. It is not uncommon to see a job description that includes specific details about a certain skill set and that includes a mandatory resume.In order to write a resume today, you should have some basic knowledge about your desired job. These days, there are many different types of jobs. For example, if you are searching for a job as a chef, it would be wise to include such skills as cooking, baking, and pastry-making among others. In addition, it is best to indicate how many years you have been in the field of culinary arts.Now, the next step to writing a resume today is to determine what type of professional experience you have or would like to have. This is probably the most crucial part of the whole process. It is imperative that you know what kind of c areer that you want. You can always refer to your dream career or your childhood interest. However, since this is a requirement, make sure you spend the time to research these jobs.The next essential parts of a resume are the name and the contact information. The name should ideally reflect your overall personality and convey the message that you want to convey. You should also consider the current employer's expectations.Writing a resume today is all about organization. Keep in mind that your resume is not just a paper that you can throw aside after you get the job. Instead, it should be something that you put a lot of thought into.If you are having difficulty writing a resume today, you can always seek the help of a professional. A good resume expert will help you prepare the appropriate materials. At the same time, he or she will guide you in the proper formats to use.Remember that not only does writing a resume today need to be structured properly but it also needs to be clear a nd precise. Make sure that you will be able to properly explain your qualifications to your employer as well as any skills you possess that could be beneficial for the job.Writing a resume today is not something that can be rushed. It is a very important element that would go a long way in helping you land the position you want.